so i had a lot of sex recently, and was really proud of myself for wearing a condom every time, and i learned two things about myself. number one, i fuckin hate condoms. they are the worst thing ever. at least 70% of the time, no matter how much concentration you apply to putting these fuckin things on, after a couple of good maneuvers these things blow out, look like some mongoloid balloon animal, and are useless. but i’m also definitely not into not wearing them, so it’s a total fuckin catch 22…
which brings me to my original point. i can kind of see why R kelly (or his forefather, chuck berry) might want to be peeing on bitches. because, i mean, you got all these hot, slutty bitches hanging all over you at all times, begging to be slayed in every way imaginable, but condoms suck. and getting burned would suck way worse. so you got all these hot bitches, are afraid of bangin them all down properly (sans rubber), and bangin ’em with condoms is is boring and just plain no fun. so he came to a logical conclusion: pee on them. you don’t have to put some ridiculous apparatus on your dill, it’s physically relieving, and it’s not as if you have any respect for these girls anyway, so even if you did fuck ’em you’re never going to talk to them again. so why not just piss on them? it ensures she’ll definitely never forget “that asshole that pissed on my back”, you won’t get any weird disease (unless you’re doing it in an african river where those creeper bugs swin up your dill as you pee…) and if you videotape it, you can beat off to her nice lookin’ body later, and then have a good laugh afterwards when you slow-mo the piss bouncing off the small of her back.
in summation: getting laid = good, condoms = sucky, and R. Kelly = logical thinker?
“i’d kiss you, but your face tastes like piss” -chuck berry
If you have yourself a steady lady, and you know you’re both clean, suggest her getting an IUD. It’s a piece of copper that hangs out in the uterus and prevents babies from forming. There are no hormones involved, and with a 99.9% per year effectivity rate, I can bust in my girl all I want and never have to worry about a godfuckin’ thing.
where am I? what website am I at? what’s going on? Bitchardo? Nice Zinger!
In addition to the R Kelly golden shower, why not following ACT 2, part 1 of the pissing saga try and perform the slighty worse, more disgusting — yet rewarding — “Chilli Cheese Dog.” This consists of pooping all over a girls chest area, and then proceeding to perform sex on her 15 year old breasts.
Ed Beacon died today. You’re loved and missed by skateboarders in Philadelphia and all over the world.
Dude, if you’re talking about me I died a month ago, but I still appreciate your mourning.
bichards is on point as usual. doin some ill shit is a sure fire way to make sure you both remember the session. think your gonna remember some half assed condon sesh? only if its busts and your paranoid you just empregnated some slag. only thing to make make my life complete, is when i turn yo face into a toilet seat!